Yes, I definitely think it is tacky and less than professional to ask for money in your wedding invitations. If I were to receive such an invitation, my first inclination would be to totally skip the wedding and any events and to not send a gift. A wedding gift is something the giver wants to give to the new wedding couple. It is one thing to register for gifts at a reputable place of business, but to ask of money is simply not acceptable.

I would also think the parents of the bride and groom would be mortified to know the young couple was even considering such a request.

Yes, it definitely is! A wedding is supposed to be about asking people to honour your union, not to ask for something from them.

I am aware that some cultures do traditionally give money to the bride and groom. However, if that's the culture you should not have to ask. Part of being married is being ready financially. Asking for money indicates that you are not ready to stand on your own, so try to get in the mindset that you and your husband have to learn to take care of things.

Take care and all the best on your wedding.

Oh, yes, this is definitely very tacky. Do not ask for money in your wedding invitations. I would be completely turned off by it, and I would probably end up buying you a vase as a gift.

Many people do give money as a wedding present, especially to couples who are just starting out--meaning they have not lived together for years. My husband and I went from our parents's house one night to being married the next night. Our wedding gifts were all money gifts, which we desperately needed (we didn't have silverware, plates, cups, a broom, flour and sugar, etc.).

If this fits your bill, trust me, you will get plenty of money gifts. If not, and you are already an established couple and you want/need money-gifts, I suggest that you go to the courthouse and get married in lieu of spending any money on a wedding. Weddings are not to be used to pick people up after an economic downturn, nor should even gifts be expected for an established couple--you most certainly don't need household items that are traditional wedding gifts. Weddings are to help people get started on the right foot.

That is in very poor taste. You should not ask for any type of gift in a wedding invitation. Yes, if you have to ask for money, it looks as if you are asking the invited people to pay for your wedding. Perhaps, you should not be having the wedding.

I cannot begin to imagine how a person would ask for money in his/her wedding invitation. A wedding is not a business venture, neither is it a thrift society or some co-operative society. Unless we now pay dues for attending weddings. I think a person should have taken care of all his financial planning and obligations be he/she begins to issue wedding invitations.

I don't think there really is a correct way to ask for money in your wedding invitations. You have to realize that most guests will bring gifts, although many will give you cash.

If you really want money for your wedding, you could try bringing it up to family members as you are discussing the wedding - however I would never actually write the request in the invitation itself.

If you do get gifts that you don't want or would rather have the cash, then you could try selling them on ebay or craigslist.

Yes, it is definitely tacky to ask for money in your wedding invitation. But, it's superb that you are doing your research and finding out about this ahead of time - all too often people don't realize they have made a significant breach of etiquette until it's too late.

To answer your question in more detail, it's actually not OK to give ANY kind of gift or registry information in the wedding invitation (yes, even if it's written on a separate bit of paper). This is not just purely my personal opinion; US etiquette authority The Emily Post Institute specifically states that gift/registry info should NEVER be included with the invitation (reference: http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/wedding-invitati ons-and-announcements/341-essential-invitation-dos -and-donts )

To help you with your goal, I understand that money may be practical for you (and indeed, any engaged couple), but it is tacky to ask for money as a wedding gift. However, it IS permissible to spread the info by word of mouth - but ONLY if someone asks you what you would like for a wedding gift, and you MUST do it diplomatically and in a way that lets it be the guest's choice of what to give you.

Here is some suggested phrasing you can use: "Wow, thanks Aunt Isabel, it's so kind of you to ask us what we'd like as a wedding gift. It's difficult to suggest something specific, because right now we are at the stage of saving for [name goal here - e.g. a downpayment on a house]. Please know that whatever item you choose for us as a wedding gift will be much treasured by us." Note that you are not directly asking for money at all, but rather informing the person of your immediate financial goal. Then you are letting them know that you'll be happy with any item they get you (i.e. they are free to choose anything to give you - not just money). Plenty of people, especially the older generations, will think about your words and your financial goals that you mentioned, and may be more likely to choose to give you money as a wedding gift. But they are not obligated to do so, and should never be specifically asked for money as a wedding gift. Remember, only use the above phrasing for someone who actually asks you in person or over the phone what you'd like as a wedding gift - and even then, it's better etiquette for you not to bring it up at all. But my above method is a diplomatic, non-tacky way of doing it if you feel you must bring it up. Remember above all: if the person doesn't ask, you do NOT get to tell them.

I would think it is very tacky to ask for money right in your wedding invitation. If I received an invitation like that I would put it on my fridge, highlight the tacky parts, and point it out to my friends. I would show it to my kids and tell them this is never acceptable.

Yes it is very tacky. I have seen family not show up to a wedding because they asked for money in the invitation. Little did the couple know others where laughing behind there back. You do not want people to think you are not financially set to get married in the first place.

I would not ask for money on my wedding invitation or for anything else. It is poor taste and very tacky. Do not ask for money at your wedding shower eithor. It is just as bad as asking for money at your wedding.

Yes it is very tacky. I have seen family not show up to a wedding because they asked for money in the invitation. Little did the couple know others where laughing behind there back. You do not want people to think you are not financially set to get married in the first place.

I would not ask for money on my wedding invitation or for anything else. It is poor taste and very tacky. Do not ask for money at your wedding shower eithor. It is just as bad as asking for money at your wedding.

I think the previous answers covered the fact that it is "tacky" to ask for money in your wedding invitation and I agree with that. Include registry lists, but do not ask for gifts or money.

However, there are ways to encourage donations of money without being tacky. Some of these are very common at weddings. One way is to have people "pay" for dances with the bride. Another method is to have a "wishing well" or "money tree." In most aspects, they might still be considered inappropriate, but I think that people that don't agree with it won't put any money in. I have been to many weddings where they had these and I don't think they were a problem.

Yes, absolutely.

Ideally, you won't mention anything about where you are registered and most people will just drop a card and cash into the wishing well. If people contact you to ask where you are registered, you can politely reply, "Target; thank you for your generosity."

Anytime a gift is dictated is tacky. It does not matter if it's for a wedding or your child's first birthday.

A gift is given out of the good will of the giver, is never obligatory, and is never to be dictated.

Generally it is, and most people view wedding invitation as a request for the honor of the invitees presence to witness the ceremony. In return the invited person brings a gift to the wedding to return the honor the new couple.


However, asking money would somehow change the cordial atmosphere and in all likelihood, the invited party would not show up. People will think that the would- be couple is ill prepared and they may entertain doubts on the outcome of that wedding ceremony and opt not to be a witness thereof. The only people that may not mind if money is being asked are relatives and close family friends.